Oh No, Sound the Alarms! Trump Has a Bruise!
Stop the presses! Call a congressional hearing! How will the nation recover from such shocking news?
This is what the left has been reduced to—obsessing over a bruise on Trump’s hand while Biden stumbles through every speech like he just woke up from anesthesia. The usual suspects on X (formerly Twitter) immediately started speculating like a bunch of amateur WebMD doctors. “It’s an IV mark!” “It’s a vitamin deficiency!” “Maybe he was secretly hospitalized!”—because apparently, a 78-year-old man getting a minor bruise is now a national security crisis.
Meanwhile, these same people completely ignore the fact that Biden, who is actually in visible decline, can’t walk straight, can’t finish a sentence without reading directly from a giant font teleprompter, and regularly has to be led away from events like a lost grandpa at Walmart. But no, let’s all focus on Trump’s hand instead.
The Daily Mail even took a break from its usual royal family gossip to cover this scandalous development, reporting that the bruise was noticed during Trump’s meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron. Of course, they also made sure to highlight Trump’s “awkward handshakes” with Macron—because apparently, that’s the real story here, not the fact that Trump was meeting with a world leader to discuss ending a war.
Let’s get real. Trump is a high-energy, hands-on kind of guy. He’s always moving, shaking hands, pointing, gesturing, leading. It’s not shocking that he might bruise a little easier at his age—something that happens to literally every elderly person on the planet. But leave it to the left to act like this is some deep, dark medical mystery while ignoring Biden’s obvious cognitive decline.
And let’s be honest—Trump looks great for his age. The man still has more energy than most people half his age, is sharp as ever and continues to dominate the political scene like no one else. If the left is now resorting to playing “bruise watch,” they’re in for a long four years of fake scandals and desperation.
In the meantime…
…maybe they should worry less about Trump’s hand and more about Biden’s entire existence.
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